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Denise's Space :DJust a space about my life...
July 19 A little up date and informationFirst disclaimer: This is mostly for those who are not formiliar with our parenting techniques, beliefs and whatnot... I have been learning alot online and from other friends who are parents, and I have formed the following perspectives... There is tons of better written information out there, but this works for now... Just look up 'attached parenting' and see for yourself the variety of information you find. You will see we agree with most of what is out there with the research I have done... Most of this even just fit in naturally with what I already believed as a person, and how I had already done things... with a few new things thrown in! LOVE IT! :)
Just a little update on Caylee and how we now see parenting... It has been a learning process for sure, but this is what we have begun practicing, and things may change as Caylee changes, and as more kids are introduced and all that jaz, but for now, this is my view, as complete as I could manage, though I am sure there are TONS of things unsaid, unclear, or forgoten... ;)
Caylee is nearly 7 months old! WOW, hard to belive shes past a half a year already! Its great fun to watch her learn new things. She is such a HAPPY baby, always smiling, and laughing, AND WATCHING... She can entertaine her self in the grass or on the floor... no toys, just her, maybe a cloth or something too! If she is cranky she will watch the cars drive by and be completely pacified for a good long while! She will look to me in new situations, or when she hears a new noise to see if its something to smile about or not... she is quite fearless so long as mum and dad are close by in sight!
Part of all of this is normal personality, and temperment, but some of it is the way we have chosen to raise her. I will put a few 'lables' on my techniques, but they really are not techniques, but that is how most people see things now a days...
I do what most people would lable as 'attached parenting'. It is not the same for each family, and can vary from child to child within the family.. It is a flexable stratagie to parenting that allows a mother (and father) to know what is best for each child and the family as a whole. It carrys with it a desire to be the best parent you know how to be regardless of all the new and old information that you are expected to follow (sometimes) blindly by parents, friends, strangers, and sometimes medical personal...
So what do we do that is different from the 'norm'?
Disclaimer: Doing these things, or not doing some of these things, does not make or break attached parenting... such as many do co-sleeping (Our bed is too small, but did do this for the first month off and on!) and baby led breast weaning (was not able to nurse this time around)... We do not do these, but I will concider myself attached parenting, for the sack of the label.... These are what our family does with this first baby. It is what works for us, and we would love the support of all our friends and family! (regardless of if you believe in doing these things yourself or not, support us and help us grow as a family...
1. Cloth diaper
This is alot easier than many years ago, and alot cuter and trimmer.
2. Baby wear
This does not spoil a child, it allows a child to have their needs met, as mother is right there and aware of babys needs, especially when they are young and have many needs. As the child ages, they will want to sit, and crawl and need oppuntunities to do these things, and so they are not worn as often. They are up high so they can see and interact with the parent the world around them a bit easier than in a stroller. I find there are times for each to be used...
3. No Crying it out...
Responding to crys, coo's and smiles... A cry means that a need is not being met, cold, hot, hungry, bored, scared, soiled etc! We teach them that their needs are met when they communicate to us about them the only way they know how to!
4. Elimination communication
Who wants to sit in their own messes? In other cultures babys often do not use or need diapers from birth. So far we only poo elimaniate. When she gives her cue that she needs to poo, I take her to the toilette and let her do it there. It saves a mess for both of us. Eventually I would like to elimanate pee this way too. If we are in tune with baby enough this is VERY helpful at sucessful potty learning by 24 months old aprox! (both night and day)
5. Delayed vaxinations, and some not at all... We do not need to pump our babys full of desiease that may or not be caught just because some babies are unhealthy. The risks to give a vax is equal to the risk that they will actually catch the deasease, and could be more than the risk that if they did catch it, that it would be deadly! Why do healthy people need to be vaxed from the flu and chickenpox?!
6. Antibiotics and drugs only as a last resort
If we are healthy our bodys learn how to fight off infections, and the more it fights the better it gets... dont supress it now!
7. We dont set a schedual, we 'offer rutine'.
We offer our own rutine, and let baby fall into it as they need to for eating, sleeping and playing etc... They know what their body needs, and they will ask for it (cry in someway)
8. Start solids at 6 months
Babys digestive systems are not ready for foods before around this age... They also dont need juice, or cows milk untill they are a few years old... juice is loaded with sugars and such, and cows milk can cause sensitivities if overused!
9. Feed on demand (bottles for now) solids as snacks between bottles)
10. Natural Concenquences
(mostly for older babies) Ex.. Caylee was learning to sit, and after she got the hang of it I stopped putting cushions behind her. She would bump her head.. It was hard to do for me, but once she learned that, she started trying to prevent going off balance more instead of relying on something soft to help after she fell... I was always there to sooth her after the bump though... for older kids, the decision to dress for outside themselfs.. if you dont wear mits you will be cold, so you bring them and allow the child to get cold and decide they want to wear them (so long as you know the child is able to express these needs, and they are not dangerious (crossing a road on their own etc!)
11. Very few battery operated toys early on, and even later..
Babies do NOT need to be entertained with noise, music and lights all day long. They need to learn about the WORLD around them... pots pans, cars, grass, animals... anything safe!
12. NO TV until 2 years old or more.
TV viewing even 30 mins and less a day con contribute to ADHD 'type' issues later in life. TV has ever changing attention grabbing pictures and sounds... young children's brains begin to develop needing this constant stimulation... NOT good. Adult and child based TV is not allowed in this family when the kids are able to easily turn to view the screen.
13. No 'passing around baby' when we go out.
Passing a younger baby around like an object at gatherings or to strangers or just friends can create attachment issuses... They are people and do not need to be passed around a room for the entertainment of adults! This is the one I have a HUGE issuse with... I cringe at social gatherings, because I have to deny others from holding Caylee just because she is cute! Grandparnts and relatives that want to bond with baby, play with them etc is very different. But if even grandparents and relitives just want to hold baby there while they talk with other adults is just not needed. If you want to hold a relitives baby PLAY with it... The baby does not want/need to sit in the arms of someone who is not paying much attention to him or her! ALso, Please do not just pass her to the next person if you asked to hold her. This goes against our parenting beliefs... (all untill she is able to help in the decision by holding out her arms to the next person to be held by them, and respecting her wishes to be set down if she gets fussy being held, or wants to go back to being held by whomever...)
14. Not leaving baby in nursery, or to be babysat just because we can. (at very young ages, especially when they are upset by the issue)
Back many years ago, parents were parents... they did not simply leave baby with a trained individual so they could go out with friends without him or her (for younger babies) Some parents need to get away, which is fine, but it needs to be put as second priority... I wont leave Caylee in the Church nursery alone whie still so young.. We will go and play together, and I can let her sit while I play with other babies, but I dont leave her.. she can no develope a trust that she is okay without me right there, but when she is hungry or sleepy, I am there to provide!
15. Parents as sole providers... again, baby is not just a cute object to coo over... mums were made to feed their young babies, if you are unable to nurse as a mother, then you should try to bottle feed your baby as mch as possible to keep your bond strong!
Keeping baby with mum as much as possible (at this age the same room works/within sight)
I have most likely left out TONS of important information! But this is the fist time I have tryed to put this into words... I dont think there is a true defination to what we do, nor can we say it is right for everyone to do any of these things. We do them, and they work. Caylee is a happy well rounded baby who sleeps though the night, loves trying new things, is easy going, rarely ever cries, and is happy sitting on the lawn to entertain herself, or watching her mum and dad do stuff! We have no complaints. We believe she feels safe and secure knowing we are always here for her when she needs us, no matter what!
Sorry if this sounded more like a rant... it almost is... and for those of you who could also be labled attached parents, please feel free to comment and leave suggestions, concerns, expand or whatever! This is so that everyone is aware of how our family functions, so we do not have to explain ourselves time and time again!
Later days!
April 28 4 Months Old!!Well, we had her 4 month old wellness checkup on Thursday and everything is good. Caylee seems to be in the 50th% for growth and such, which makes sence since her age seems to follow the clothing sizes, and I have rarely ever seen a baby that actually fits into the right sized clothing! :P She is now 13.7 lbs, and 58cm long/23in, and is fitting into her 3-6 month old clothes. Some are getting to just fitting, some are still way to big on her!
She is not really doing anything new... Lots of smiles, stands up when you hold on to her, or hold her hands. But she has been doing all that for some time now. She really wants to be sitting though. Any time she is in a slightly sitting angle, she strains to sit all the way up... problem is, she will end up spitting up her meal when she does this :P
Anyways, off of that crazy rant LOL! Caylee is doing great (other than what I mentioned above), and I love that it is now almost summer! Lots of fresh air, walking, getting out of the house, going to the park and all that other fun stuff. Steph is moving to Moncton, and we will finally have a real friend in the area. My best friend from high school is comming 'home' to get married, and I am her matron of honor! We have lots of kids signed up for our summer rec program, and we should be able to pay bills all those months without using savings! YAY! :D Tyler has been helped by the church to get his immigration finally... and God is good!
Later days everyone!
PS, I have not been updating as often due to being a little more busy then I used to be ;) ;) ;) March 29 3 Months Old, lots of new picturesHello everyone!
Sorry for the lack of updates, but my computers USB connections are all broken, and now I have quite a process to upload my photos.... and I have been quite busy as Caylee is awake more and more during the day!
She is 3 months old now... She has hoop earings in, enjoys her doorway bouncer, loves to look at her toys and the camera! She usualy sleeps a good 5 hours in a row, and sometimes more if I am lucky! Though sometimes I only get 3-4 hours.. :P She smiles, coo's, trys to laugh!
She has been out to the park, on lots of walks, skating!
We are finally getting a highchair for her... She loves to sit up and watch us, and her rocking chair thing is just too low forthat... Now we just need a portable high chair for all our visiting we have to do! ;)
Not much up with us though... Waiting for the warm weather, and for Caylee to be old enough to really enjoy it with us! Thats it for now... I am on facebook if anyone wants to leave me a message now! ;) Other than that...........................
Later days! February 20 Caylee got her ears pierced!! Yup, last night we brought Caylee in to have her ears pierced! Ardeans has plastic studs (to lower the risk of infection/reaction to the metals). She did amazing. She sat still for the most part, and the 2 girls stood on either side of her as she sat in my lap. They counted to 3, and pulled on both guns! Caylee then turned bright red, mouth open, silent, then..... wahhhhh! finally broke though! plunked the soother back in, and she was sleeping again before the minute was over. They cleaned her ears up a bit (no blood or anything, just clean the hand germs). I hope this is what her needles will be like too!
I also added a BUNCH of new photos to her Febuary album! Some of the 3 of us, and a bunch of her, and some of her sporting her new earings!
Other news? Nothing much... She is doing better gas wise with the new Dr. Browns bottle we bought her. We went on a shopping spree to Frenchy's, and bought a huge bag of clothes for $20 (the dresses you see in the newer pictures!!!!) She is now 7weeks 3 days old! Holding her head up amazingly well! Smiles spuraticaly, sleeps 4-5 hours at a time. We had our first family fun outing on Sunday. We went to Centenial park, and Tyler skated around the island, while I walked with Caylee in her snuggly. THe park was packed with families skating and sleding! It was abeautiful day, and I finally got some exercise. All I did was walk, and I could still feel a tiny bit sore the next day LOL... Tyler was very happy to be able to get out skating at least once this year!!
Thats about it for now.. For march break, we will be heading to Maine for Tyler's drill weekend, and a few extra days to visit with his family...
Well, I will talk to you all laters, February 06 Caylee's room is finally finished!We finally finished Caylee's bedroom. It was quite the work in progress, but its done completely. What looked pretty boyish turned into a beautiful girls room. I also have tons of other photos added to her Febuary album! I hope she enjoys her room when she is finally able to notice she even has her own room! hehe!
Laters, |
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